I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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