If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
