Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
