if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
