i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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