Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
