the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
