she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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