I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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