That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
wanna go halves on a baby?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
