FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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