walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
