Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
