have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
