Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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