Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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