i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
