Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
