where does the pee come out of this thing
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just pee around me
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
