roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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