I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
