I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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