So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
