I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
