May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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