weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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