She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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