yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
