Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
