called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
