he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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