Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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