im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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