I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
