We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
