My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
