id be glad to
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
