All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
