I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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