The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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