I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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