it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Let's paint friendship bongs
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
