You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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