we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
