not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
