The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
