We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
