i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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