So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
