Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
