I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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